Finding a way in times of stress

When stressed, some people become more Hyperaroused. They may feel angry, tight-chested and are constantly in their thoughts. To the outside world, they may appear snappy, on-edge and emotional. Others become more Hypoaroused. Motivation becomes low and thinking is foggy. To the outside world, you may stop responding to others and numb out by watching lots of TV, comfort eating or binging on social media.

It can be helpful to know where you are at in terms of your thoughts. Are you In your Thoughts with rumination and worrying, numbing out and Below your Thoughts or calm and alert by being Above your Thoughts?

build emotional resilience to stress

When stressed, some people become more Hyperaroused. They may feel angry, tight-chested and are constantly in their thoughts. To the outside world, they may appear snappy, on-edge and emotional. 

Others become more Hypoaroused. Motivation becomes low and thinking is foggy. To the outside world, you may stop responding to others and numb out by watching lots of TV, comfort eating or binging on social media.

It can be helpful to know where you are at in terms of your thoughts. Are you In your Thoughts with rumination and worrying, numbing out and Below your Thoughts or calm and alert by being Above your Thoughts?

in our thoughts too much

This week, I’ve definitely felt unmotivated. My behavior has reflected this with aimless social media skimming, frantic news reading and numbing out with TV. Another sign is that I’ve been waking at 2am each morning.

It’s a relief to identify what the issue is because, through experience, I know that the way out is to ask myself two straightforward questions….

Question 1: What has caused my stress levels to increase?

  • Christmas is coming. I need to get everything ready and my bank balance is taking a bit of a hit.
  • I’ve had lots of cancellations this month as clients are busy with work or taking annual leave.
  • Omicron (!!!) and general negative stuff in the media.
  • The weather’s rubbish.
  • I haven’t been doing a formal meditation practice each morning.

Question 2: What am I going to do about it?

  • Stop shopping for the kids and order the last two presents for family members.
  • Focus on what I can do to let potential clients know I’m here and ready to help.
  • Accept that I can’t control Omicron or any shenanigans at No. 10.
  • Get some sunlight in the morning even if it’s raining. I have a coat!
  • Meditate today, tomorrow, …
  • Carry on with what I know builds my resilience, including journaling, exercising, eating well and getting hugs.

I’m wondering, whether you can apply any of this to yourself. 

Can you be your own coach?

My name is Laura Kingdon and I’m a Transformation Coach. I help people set goals, overcome obstacles and create a plan to achieve a life they really love.

If you would like to know more about creating the life you want. Whether it’s career, relationships, finances or health then email me at laura@clarityatwork.co.uk

Ref. The Window of Tolerance is based on ideas from The Developing Mind, Dr Dan Siegal (1999).

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